AF showed up

Day 41, AF showed up. Whew, Finally.. although of course I was hoping it wouldn't. Of course I already have my hopes up for my next cycle. I looked at my calendar and saw that my next AF is due Dec. 3. That is 3 days before our wedding anniversary. This will be our 2 year wedding anniversary and 8 years together anniversary. Wouldn't it be grand to have a BFP for our anniversary! I know... I shouldn't get excited but one can hope, right!? Here's to the next cycle! :)

BFN

Well, it is another BFN for me. For some reason I was holding out some
hope this month. I couldn't figure out why else my face would break out soo badly or why I would be soo hungry the past couple weeks even after eating a big ole meal. And also the fact that I swore I felt myself ovulate. I guess I am just going crazy. I just HATE testing.. it is such a disappointment. Maybe I will go on a testing strike and I can be one of those crazy ladies who didn't know they were pregnant! lol.

I had a bad day today, but I didn't cry all day. I came home and wanted to cry. Ryan told me I was being silly. He told me that this process takes time I need not worry too much about it. I guess he doesn't realize the disappointment I get every month. I know I can't control it, it is just frustrating.

I need to be more patient. But I am having a hard time finding patience. Maybe I am just having a bad day... which I think is the case. Sorry this is such a negative blog... but I guess TTC has its ups and downs.

Almost there

I *almost* tested this morning. Lol. Almost. I chickened out though. I just hate testing and getting that stupid dissapointing negative that I'd rather just wait it out. That being said AF is due this week. One of my calendars says Weds the other says Friday. Although... really that means nothing when it comes to my cyles.

I have been REALLY hungry the past couple weeks and really that has been my only symptom. I also have been looking fat... I think. I took pictures this weekend up in the mountains with my parents and the changing leaves. I SWEAR I look pregnant in EVERY picture! I am probably just fat, but I don't get it.. I am working out a bunch and not loosing weight. Hopefully I am knocked up because that would explain it! lol

Unfortunately I am feeling a bit crampy this evening. It is probably just AF coming... but hopefully it isnt. FX!

I had to buy acne fighting face wash for the first time in years today! Yucko! I swear this might possibly be the worst I have ever broken out! I feel like a 14 year old! Only difference is when you were 14 half the kids around you were having the same problems! When you are 25 and most of the people you work with are a good 20 years older it really just makes you stand out as the pimply one! lol Heres to hoping my face wash makes a difference! I feel my face drying up as I type, so I hope that is a good thing!

Today I felt tired and overwhelmed with life... and I got really bitchy this evening! I just have a ton of things going on and everything is happening either this week or next week. I can't wait for it all to be over! Not to mention AF is supposed to come next week.

Today marks exactly a month since my last period (maybe that is why I was bitchy today?). According to all my fertility calendars I am not supposed to start until the 23rd though because I have had crazy long cycles. But really... who knows!?

I could give you a paragraph of pregnancy signs I am imagining, but really there is no need! I feel pretty normal besides being a bit more hungry than usual. But the countdown is on for 10 more days!

waiting game

Still playing the waiting game. I still have a little less than 2 weeks until my AF is supposed to show. So have I had any pregnancy signs this month? Nothing really out of the norm. Hungry, yes... but I am always hungry. Peeing a bit more, yes, but the first month I was trying I peed like a million times and it was nothing. Tired, nothing more than usual. And nothing more.

I keep getting the urge to tell people that we are trying. I know it is bad idea, but I have never been very good at keeping secrets. :) Today we spent a couple hours with Ryan's grandparents, who we are both really close with. I REALLY wanted to tell them. I don't want a lot of people to know because I have no idea how long this process is going to take. BUT sometimes I think the more people we have praying for us, the faster and maybe easier the process might be. I was trying to convince his grandparents to come visit us and his grandma just said to name the weekend and they will come out... I think I will tell them when they come.... if the timing is right. I am soo excited for them to be great grandparents! They will be soo amazing!

Well that is all I have.

Ovulation!

I *THINK* I felt myself ovulate yesterday! I was taking a shower and I felt a little twinge on my right side and it lasted my entire shower. I don't know for sure if that is what it was... but I think it could have been. I downloaded a new ovulation calendar App for my phone this weekend and I was messing with it this morning and according to it I was supposed to ovulate yesterday. That could be a good thing! Only time will tell. I guess I am in the 2 week wait then? Or in my case the like 3 or 4 week wait! lol The calendar puts me at starting on the 23rd... which would be a 40 day cycle. But since my cycle has been soo crazy... who really knows!

Nothing Much

It has been like 2 weeks since I blogged on here. But, I haven't really had anything exciting going on as far as TTC. I am on day 19 of my cycle. I *think* I was ovulating this week and I *think* I might still be. FX this is the month. But I am thinking it is not. I dunno why, just have a feeling it isn't our month.

I have been really hungry the past 2 days though.... But I think it is just me being a fat ass! lol. I have been feeling really chunky lately... even though I have been going to Zumba and running with my kids at soccer practice. But I guess none of that makes up for eating a bunch of crap all day! I just can't help the fact that Gummy Bears are soo delicious! Lol. I am going to try to put an honest effort to eat better... but I just dont think I can cut those squishy bears from my diet! :)