Well it’s officially been years since I last blogged. But here we are waiting for our next baby to arrive and praying for a safe and healthy delivery and baby! Life with two kids has been crazy and fun and blogging was the last thing on my mind!
We definitely can’t imagine life without Brynn who is spunky and independent! Opposite of her brother in so many ways yet loves him so fiercely!
And today here I lay snuggled up to her in bed while waiting for our baby number 3 to arrive!
I’m 38 weeks pregnant (and 3 days, but who is counting). We are having our first surprise gender baby! We found out what we were having with both Colin and Brynn but this time decided to have a surprise. I honestly never thought I could do it, but being so busy chasing the big kids around it’s been very easy! The only thing driving me batty is names because I like them picked before baby comes and no, we have nothing picked out yet! I can’t wait to put a name to this baby! Ha ha! But for now it is babywaggsnumerotres.... has a nice ring to it, yah?
We are also having our first homebirth! I was really super excited about it and then got nervous this week! Ha ha! I don’t know why, I think it was just a weak moment in life. I had a rough week and was like what am I thinking?! Which actually led me back here, to my blog where I reread Brynn’s birth story and the following blog about being healed and I was like, oh yes... now I know what I was thinking!!!
My birth with Brynn was powerful. I felt like a super woman afterwards. It was an incredible experience and I seem to have just forgotten that this week. It made me realize how capable I was. How strong women can be and how amazing the process is. I’ve wanted that experience again since I had her. In fact right after she came out I was like, let’s do this 5 more times! Ha ha!
But life makes you doubt yourself! I don’t have all of the support I had in NM of people telling me empowering birth stories and being my cheerleader because we’ve just been here in AZ for a year. In fact I have a lot of people nervous and anxious over my home birth. Which is hard. You feel a little crazy sometimes trying to prove to the world that birth doesn’t haven’t to be scary or traumatic or gross and messy... all things I’ve heard a lot of. It definitely leaves you with doubts when you can’t sleep at 3 in the morning.
But I know it’s just our crazy society. That most people have never seen or maybe never even heard of a calm or beautiful birth experience. We’ve only been told horror stories our whole lives, so we tend to only believe or associate birth with those. When in fact it doesn’t have to be scary or traumatic. And yes, I know There are always rare cases and scary scenarios BUT the majority of the time if we let nature do its work and we don’t interfere or intervene things go really smoothly! I read something the other day about how we are the only mammal on the planet who doubts our ability to birth and I was like, yup. So true. We were designed to do this. Our bodies are amazing. Trust them.
Anyway. Here I am laying in bed, resting my days away waiting for our next sweet babe to join our family. This baby, unlike our other two was not planned. It’s been a very spiritual journey for me knowing that God’s plans were bigger than ours. This baby was picked just for our family and will likely complete our family. How lucky are we?! At night when I can’t sleep and need to get crazy doubts out of my mind when it’s so easy to just grab your phone and go brain dead, I instead pray. It’s been so refreshing to have that time of quiet and peace to get my thoughts and prayers in a row. I know I will have many nights ahead up feeding and changing a baby here soon and I plan to continue my late night prayers!
Here’s to birth, family, chaos and lots of prayers and all that goes in between! Stay tuned for the birth story of our newest little one, hopefully coming very soon!!!
