2 week Dr. Apt

Went for Colin's 2 week check up. He had gained a pound since his 5 day checkup! :) And didn't even cry when they took his blood from his foot! Yay!

I was kind of disappointed because our normal Dr. wasn't there so we had to see a different pediatrician. I really wanted some answers with Colin's tongue tie and was hoping they would clip it or at least talk about that as an option. The Dr. told us that in all his research tongue tie does not cause pain to a mother while nursing and that we just have a bad latch. He also said research shows there isn't clear evidence that clipping a tied tongue has any positive change to anything and he wants to let it be. I cried. And then the stupid guy asked why I was crying. Lol.

Everything I've read online says that tongue tied babies are given bottles sooner than other babies and mothers have a really hard time breastfeeding them. I just wish my suffering was justified through this and it seems like it was no big deal. I feel like I've failed all over again with this, but I know it is just one person's opinion.  He said just to keep trying to breast feed and pump if I have to. Sigh. I am going to call tomorrow and see if our other Dr. is there or can talk to me. :S

In the meantime, I am still breastfeeding, but with a shield, which is working really well! No pain and I feel like it is letting my nipples heal a bit! And now I'm off to take a nap!

Tongue Tied??

Well I called my breast feeding support system... and we think little Colin might be tongue tied. Which would make all of our issues make sense. He has a heart shaped tongue, it looks like the tissue that connects the bottom of the tongue to the floor of his mouth is close to his gums and tight... plus tongue tie can cause major nipple damage to momma and lots of pain.  Of course we will see what his doctor says on Monday... but I feel soo relieved knowing I am not doing anything wrong!!

http://www.breastfeedingbasics.com/articles/tongue-tie

Breastfeeding blues

Breastfeeding is literally the hardest thing I've ever done. I know I said labor was bad... and it was, but at least it was temporary! Lol.  I've almost quit out of frustration several times now and if you knew how important this was to me, you'd know how big of a deal almost quitting is!

Colin is a great latcher, latched on right away at the hospital no problem. I left the hospital with sore, bleeding, scabbed and chapped nipples... but from what I've heard that is fairly normal. The initial latch hurt a little bit, but I figured as my boobs toughened up it would get better.... it hasn't.

I have like chunks of my nipple missing now. :) Sounds grand, huh? Where he sucked some of the scabs off... I have like holes. The initial latch is VERY painful, but I figured with time, as that healed it would get better. So even though the initial latch sometimes brings tears to my eyes, it is over in a second and bearable.

Then my milk came in. The engorgement made it hard for him to latch and just made everything worse. This was the first time I almost gave up. I pumped to help with the engorgement, but I felt like it wasn't really helping and was engorged for like 5 days. When I thought maybe I was pumping too much and kind of quit cold turkey. My breasts felt normal again and were still producing milk  and we had a couple days where he'd latch first try and although it was still terribly painful it was over fast and I thought maybe this was the beginning of breastfeeding getting better.

Then yesterday happened. It seemed like he was having a hard time getting my milk to come down on my left side (which has always been my good side, not as painful and when I pumped always had the most milk). I thought maybe since I wasn't engorged anymore that maybe I had a longer let down process and that was frustrating him. He would latch, let go, latch let go, latch let go... over and over and over. And with painful latches that left me and him both crying!  Last night we tried to latch and get milk to come down for over an hour once and then again for like 15 or 20 mins before I almost quit for the second time.  I ended up giving him the other boob and pumping the left one and giving him a bottle because it was just soo sore. I was shocked when I pumped and barely anything out. So now I'm thinking my supply has gone low on that side?  I don't know.

Everyone says the first 2 weeks is the hardest... and well... Monday is 2 weeks and by golly if this gets any harder I may be a damn quitter!

I suppose I should ask for help, but I am kind of stubborn and wanted to just figure it out on my own. lol

Colin has a Dr. apt. on Monday and I think my infected nipples with chunks missing might be cause for concern enough to ask the Dr. about.  Sigh.  I just wish it was easier and I pray everyday that it gets easier.

One week post pregnancy

Here is the belly one week post pregnancy! Honestly I am a little shocked at how much it has shrunk! Lol But I still have quite a ways to go before my pre-pregnancy weight. I think I've lost about 15 or so pounds and I still have at least another 15 to go. Not that I'm doing anything to loose the weight, just getting the milk sucked out of me for now! Maybe when i get more sleep (Ha!) I can start walking or something... but now I don't really have the energy... I've been trying to post this for like 3 days and some days I'm lucky to even open my laptop! Lol 

Colin's birth story

What a time I had delivering Mr. Colin! 

So as most of you know from my previous blogs, I went into labor Sunday, 11/6/11 at 3 am. I had contractions all day, but they weren't very painful until the afternoon/evening.  I went to the hospital Sunday night at 8 pm. They checked me and I was only 2 cm. so they made me walk around the hospital for 2 hours. I walked and  walked through some terrible contractions and they ended up sending me home because I was still only 2 centimeters dilated... even though I was having terrible contractions. The nurse told me to come back when they got worse or closer together... I asked her how they could get any worse! Ha! She told me I hadn't seen anything yet... she was right.   That was the longest night of my life. I didn't sleep a wink and spent my time crying, walking, taking warm baths and doing anything else I possibly could to ease through the pain of contractions. It was terrible. I held out as long as possible at home, but came back in to the hospital about 11 hours after the first visit, at 7 am with horrendous contractions. This time I was NOT going to let them send me home! Lol Thankfully I was 4 cm dilated and finally admitted!

 I labored for 2 hrs  at the hospital before getting an epidural because they were monitoring Colin's heart rate because it kept dropping when I'd contract and the Dr. was worried I'd have to have a c-section. After his heart rate picked up and everything was good, I got the amazingly, wonderful, best invention on earth ever... epidural. It is THE MOST AMAZING thing... trust me on this. I know for many woman getting the epidural can slow labor down, but for me it did the opposite. Because I had been in labor for so long it relaxed my body and helped me dilate rather quickly! 3 hours with an epidural and I had dilated to 7! And 2 hours later fully dilated! 

For some dumb reason I thought pushing would be the easy part... I know... I'm retarded.  I pushed for an hour and a half ... it sucked! Lol I could feel lots of pressure and it felt like my epidural was wearing off and I was pushing and pushing as hard as I could... I was soo tired from laboring for over 30 hours and then Colin's heart rate started to get erratic so the doctor had to step in and help get him out faster. She ended up using the suction on his poor little head and I ended up with a 2nd degree tear! I had no clue pushing was going to be so hard... guess Colin has a big ole head! I am soo glad he is here... but after a labor like that, now I know why I am an only child! Lol.  My doctors and nurses were amazing and encouraged me the whole way... I remember telling them a couple times while I was pushing that I just couldn't do it anymore, it was so hard and I wanted him out so bad!

Ryan held my leg while I pushed and he got to cut Colin's umbilical cord! They took Colin right away because he was gasping a bit and they wanted to make sure his lungs were ok. After some time in the nursery they brought him back and the doctor told me, he was trying to latch onto everything including his oxygen mask and would have no problem breastfeed... she was totally right! :)

He was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen and it was love at first sight... for both Ryan and I! :) He looks JUST like his daddy!

I could stare at his little face... and every other part of him all day long. I think his ears are the cutest thing, his head the cutest... feet legs... everything. He is perfect.  Ok. I could go on forever.  But that is Colin's birth story and I have many more blogs to come!

Right after he was born!

After his first bath at the hospital

He is here!!

Colin Ryan Waggoner was born on 11/7/11 at 5:55 pm.  He weighed 6 lbs 13 ounces and was 20 1/2 inches long!  It was a LOOOONNG and hard labor and delivery... I will write about it once my life gets a bit normal! But he is here, healthy and beautiful!

Contractions SUCK

Labor/Contractions are pretty much the worst thing on earth and I don't wish them on anyone! Lol My word, these things are no joke. I don't think I've ever been in so much pain... and I actually thought I had a pretty high pain tolerance before this! I am timing my blog around them so it might be short. Yesterday my contractions were very sporadic all day until after we went on a walk they got worse and more frequent. by the time we left for the hospital they were 2-5 minutes apart and that was at like 7 or 8 at night. I freaked out the Labor and delivery nurse because when she hooked me up to the monitors they were 2 minutes apart and she thought she was going to have to deliver a baby by herself.... contraction time... hold on. But surprisingly, even though I'd gone through contractions all day I was only 2 cm dialated and that isn't considered active labor... they had my walk around the hospital for 2 hours and then rechecked me... only to find I still hadn't dialated anymore.... so they sent me home. I was so upset and in so much pain. They told me to get some rest, but really how can you get any rest when I've gotten woken up every 6 minutes in dire pain that lasts for over a minute. Sigh.  They said that even though I'm having crazy contractions it might not be active labor and that some first time moms can go days or weeks in this state.... Lord help me.   I have 2 minutes until my next contraction so I should probably wrap this up. I may try and see if my doctor can squeeze me in tomorrow morning so I can cry to her about how miserable I am and let her check me. But I really don't want to rush things either and end up with a C-section because the baby isn't ready, but these contractions are horrendous and I'm not sure how many days of this I can handle. :( The end!! :) Send prayers!!   And in 25 minutes it will be 24 hours since I started getting bad contractions... Longest day ever.

False Alarm...

I'm thinking that was a false alarm... My contractions went from 5 mins apart to 8 mins apart to 15. Glad I didn't wake Ryan! Lol.  I took a shower and now I'm going back to bed! :)

Labor?

So I've been having what I call cramping for a week or so... but nothing painful, just uncomfortable crampy periodically.   Yesterday I had cramping a lot. Most of the day. But still nothing painful, just uncomfy. We went to dinner at some friend's house last and that is when I noticed that it was more difficult to walk when I was getting these "cramps" and kind of when I realized they were probably contractions and not so much cramps.  I timed them a bit, but they were very sporadic, so I ignored it and went to bed.

I woke up at 3 in the morning with painful cramping... or contractions that I couldn't ignore. So I started timing them.  They were between 2 -10 minutes apart, so I tried to go back to sleep. I woke up an hour later to pee and I lost my mucous plug! It was definitely one big plug of bloody show mucous...  Sounds wonderful, huh?

Here is some Internet research on this bloody show for those who are like, what the heck... :

Bloody Show — What It Is"Bloody show," a pink- or brown-tinged stringy mucus discharge, is a sign that your cervix is dilating and/or effacing. This is a definite signal that you're well on your way toward labor and delivery.

Bloody Show — What Causes It

This "passage" means the blood vessels in the cervix are rupturing as the cervix begins to open up. (This is a good, normal thing.)

Bloody Show — What You Need to Know

If you've experienced the bloody show, you can usually expect to go into labor within the next several days — unless you're a fast starter, in which case you could be going into labor within the next several hours. (Nice and predictable, right?) In general, though, bloody show means you can hurry up and wait. And you won't know for sure that labor has arrived until you feel those first real labor contractions. So when you see that bloody show, get ready — but don't head out the door just yet.

So as you can imagine, I've found it hard to go back to sleep since then. I'm now in the living room on a birthing ball listening to country music and hanging out with the cat... timing my contractions. They are lasting anywhere from 30 seconds to a little over a minute and happening 2-8 minutes apart.  I'm thinking of eating some cereal... although I'd really like to vacuum and take a shower... but don't want to wake up Ryan unless it is the real deal. :)  So there you have it... I think I'm in labor!

Good News for the Day

Even though I am totally still pregnant and have no signs whatsoever of Colin coming anytime soon, I just realized something awesome:

Our doctor, who has been on vacation for over a week, came back from vacation today! Which means she will be here to deliver our baby! Yay! :)

Ok, Colin.... Dr. Vitale is back, feel free to come out whenever you'd like! Everything is ready! :)

Last night

My night last night was rather interesting.  I blame Ryan for working super late and leaving a 39 week and 2 day pregnant lady home alone for hours after she'd worked all day.  So what does a 39 week and 2 day pregnant lady do when she is home alone for hours?  Orders pizza, walks on the treadmill until the pizza arrives, watches Parenthood while eating pizza and sitting on an exercise ball, decides to do online shopping because she doesn't know what else to do, orders several fleece jackets for Colin because he doesn't have a single jacket to his name... and cute hat and a cute onsie..., and then the 39 week and 2 day pregnant lady cries because she is still pregnant with no sign of an end in sight!  Lol  Oy! 

Today I am trying to be more positive. I woke up and thanked the Lord for giving me another day with this blessing growing inside of me. I know I need to cherish these moments before he arrives, like last night when he had hiccups for 15 minutes straight and my entire belly was wiggling or this morning when there was a knee poking out of my side... or even just the peace and quiet in my house when the only one crying is the cat when he is hungry.

I am off to work and today I will see only coworkers who know better than to ask me about when I'm due, instead of visitors at the visitor center who asked a good 10 times yesterday when I was due and then took turns giving me looks of shock that I was still working.  :)  Or didn't ask and just stared at my belly.

AND here's the link to the jacket I bought Colin... soo freakin' cute, right?
http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=73896&vid=1&pid=857621&scid=857621012

Patience

I need to learn how to be patient... I'm not sure how to do that, because my patience is wearing thin! I know that this is all beyond my control, I just need to accept that!  I am just soo anxious to meet Colin and to not be pregnant anymore that it is soo hard to be patient for a couple more days or weeks.

By the time the evenings roll around I am so tired from working all day and carrying a baby and my back and hips hurt that I just want it to end! Lol It sounds so terrible, but I'm sure it is just the end of pregnancy and my body is just tired.  I need to suck it up, accept it and be PATIENT!

So if you have some spare patience, feel free to send them my way! :)

Waiting Game and Waiting pain

Yesterday I was feeling something terrible. I woke up with terrible hip and back pain and it got worse throughout the day. I am betting it was from my chiropractor visit on Monday because she said my hips were out and she adjusted them.  (She also said my pelvis was WIDE open and ready to go for delivery time! :) )

 However, I was hoping it was something else and not just my chiropractor visit.  In the evening yesterday I was also really crampy and my back and hip pain was much worse. I was really hoping that was a sign that labor was immanent.  In fact I kept teasing Ryan about it.... :) 

I really wanted to wake up in the middle of the night with contractions...Unfortunately I woke up this morning feeling fine.  :(  My hips and back still hurt, but not as bad as they did yesterday, which makes me think it was just from my chiropractic adjustment. Bummer! Lol

The baby was going nuts last night too. I swear it was like he was trying to come out through my belly! I don't think I've ever felt him move around so much.  Maybe it was all the Halloween candy I ate... or the spicy Mexican food I had for lunch... but he was just moving all over the place and it was creepy because my whole belly was moving around. He did it ALL evening long and I was worried he'd keep me up all night, but I slept grand!  Oh well.

And the waiting continues!