mind rambles

Well the pity party is over. lol. The last post I was a little down. I am over it. I know this is out of my control. It is just hard to come to terms with *how* out of my control this process really is. It will happen when it is supposed to happen. Not when I want it to happen. Or at least this is what I keep telling myself! lol

For me when I got that negative this month was out of the question. Although, I did take the test early and in all actuality nothing is completely out of the question until AF comes. Which is supposed to happen 4 days from now. We shall see. Although, I feel totally normal and not knocked up at all, so I am not expecting much. I was wishing AF would come early. But no, looks like I just have super weird and long 35 day cycle! lol. Hey if it does come in 4 days...at least I'll be consistant!

This blog really didn't have a point. I just thought I hadn't written in a few days... but my last one was such a downer that I oughta at least write SOMETHING lol.