Ticking Time Bomb

I think this is the hardest part of pregnancy... the last month. Anxiety is high. You are starting to feel more uncomfortable. And the worst part... You have NO IDEA when you are going to go into labor, like a ticking time bomb.

 I am a planner by nature.  I plan everything, all the time... so I knew this part would be hard for me. I have told myself many times that it is ok if baby comes late, because if he does then I will have enough leave for the full 12 weeks that I'd like to take. BUT, what if he is early? How early could he come? What if it is any day now? I was born early... so was Ryan. Does that mean anything?  Yeah... that is what I mean when I say anxiety is high!

Everyday you wake up wondering... is today the day?

It is so hard not knowing when you are going to go into labor. Every night I look around my house and think, ok if I go into labor tonight is my house clean enough? If my parents come tomorrow will I be embarrassed about dishes in the sink or underwear on the floor?  So I run around and try to pick up before I go to bed. Which I guess is probably good practice, because then my house looks cleaner! Ha!

Every time you get  a weird pain or a new feeling or sensation, you wonder... could this be it? Maybe? And don't get me started about every time you go to the bathroom, worrying what will happen if you push to hard or if you might wipe to find you've lost your mucous plug.

But there is nothing you can do about it. (I am hoping my Dr. will check me at our apt. on Tuesday and tell me if there is anything happening down there... but I doubt she will.) So now I just sit back and wait... and try to ignore the constant ticking of the time bomb that you are.  tick... tick... tick... tick...