Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Books

Wow, I totally haven't blogged in awhile. But Really I had nothing exciting to blog about. I have recently felt like I have turned a leaf in the TTC process. I don't know what the leaf is... but I feel more "ready" for this than I have in the past.

Explanation:

After my terrible first month of TTC I was sad and frustrated. I had a bunch of books on pregnancy and expecting (From Dawn, Hollar!) and after that much I couldn't look at them. I put them away in a closet and swore I wouldn't be able to look at them until I got pregnant. I was given a (stupid) gift from someone a couple weeks ago and in it was an older pregnancy book. I put it away with all the other books... but then I took it out. And then I started reading it. I am a couple chapters in so far and I feel like I am finally ready to embrace this process. Not that I wasn't ready before, I guess now I am no longer sad and frustrated. I took out the rest of the books today and I am excited to read the first couple chapters of what to expect in the beginning of what I hope will soon be my pregnancy.

Maybe this change came from a conversation I had the other day with one of my newer friends here in town who is also TTC. I was mentioning something and I said WHEN I get pregnant and then I paused and changed my word to IF I ever get pregnant. The girl (who is totally straight forward and that is why I love her) turned and looked at me and said "Don't ever say IF, you will get pregnant. Change your attitude and always say when instead of if." And then she turned away like nothing.

She was right. I needed to get over myself and change my attitude. If I really have faith that we are supposed to expand our family then I need to believe that faith in everything I do and say. So I am going to be more positive about this and I think that is what made me turn a new leaf and bust out the books. Time to move on. I am ready and open for the change and pray that soon I will get pregnant.

Speaking of which... I am ovulation this week (according to my calendars)so FX it happens!

1 comment:

Dawn said...

Thanks for the Hollar!
It will happen, just have faith. It is a long and stressful process, for the girls involved, and even after you get the BFP, the stress continues the whole entire time. From making it through the first trimester, to the 20 week ultrasound and then it is worring about pre-term labor, and then LABOR!
You will make an absolute wonderful mother and I know that it will happen... just believe and have faith. (((HUGS)))